6 days postop

Well here I am finally banded, yay! :)

I went in for surgery at 7am Tuesday Sept 30th, my hubby took me over. We signed all the paperwork and gave my copay. We went upstairs into the new tower, which was all very new and nice looking. The woman at the desk was very friendly and I was called back without waiting more than 5 minutes. I first had to go back without my husband which made me sad, I was so nervous and being with him was the only thing making me feel calm. They had me come back and first thing was to weigh me, I commented that my scale had broken the day I started my preop diet so I had no clue what I had lost this month. It always weighs in kg, so at first I still had no clue lol so she pressed lbs and it converted, I was so happy I had been saying my prayers the night before and I asked God for a specific number and I swear to you that is exactly what I weighed! It put me down 17 pounds from my last office visit, making me down a total of 75 pounds since February when this journey began :) What a powerful number that was for me to hear, it made me very happy and took some of my nerves away. I had to give a UA to be sure I wasn't preggers, and I was negative. So they had me strip down into the hospital gown and had me wipe my skin with these new cloths in wrappers I had never seen before. One for each arm and then another for my chest and stomach. I knew it was to kill germs but that was a new one I had never heard of those before, they left my skin all sticky it was weird. I laid down and waited for them to come back to me. They put in my IV and gave me my anti-nausea patch because I warned them my body hates anesthesia with a passion. Finally they let my hubby come back.

We sat and waited for a little while because I guess there was some accident on the freeway so the surgeon and anesthesiologist were late. The nurses were not too happy with late doctors so that was a little unsettling that they were late. But really I don't think we waited too long. A doctor introduced himself as my surgeons assistant, a man I had never met before. Then my surgeon got there I was so happy to see him a familiar face. He was happy with my weightloss and was all business ready to get the surgery going. I said bye to my hubby and they wheeled me over to the surgery room, just before the door opened my anesthesiologist put something in my IV and said it would help relax me, and that it did I was starting to feel a little out of it but they had me scoot over onto the operating table. Such a big cold white sterile room, is all I remember. Next thing I knew I had a mask on and they were asking me to take deep breaths, I knew I'd be asleep soon. I felt them tie my arms to the table and that was the last thing I remember until they started waking me up. I remember them taking breathing tubes out because it hurt my throat. Right away that all to familiar feeling of the anesthesia hit me, I feel so nauseous and wanting to throw up its really uncomfortable. I was in recovery and every time they checked on me I would tell them I am still feeling sick, I guess it took them 4 or 5 phenergan injections to make it stop which those made me so drowsy I don't remember much. They traded off nurses and I was starting to feel a little more alive and less zombie, she was a sweet little thing. I told her I really wanted to see my husband, but he wasn't allowed in the recovery room, she was looking at my discharge instructions and it said I had to drink like 16oz of water before I could leave. But only 1 oz at a time and all staggered apart, she realized this would keep me awhile. So she put me in a little area off of the recovery room so my husband could come back and see me.

He came back with my sister in law, I guess I had no idea how long it had been but I had been back here awhile so she came to keep him company. I sipped on my water, was still very drowsy from all the phenergan. So talking to her was hard but all I wanted was to go home and go to sleep in my own home. Finally I had drank enough so that they could discharge me. It was a rough trip home thank goodness for my husband he helped me so much to get me home and on the couch as easy as possible. Was nice to be home so I could start the real healing process at home. He had to leave back to work that night and I didn't realize how bad I would feel so my uncle brought me over to my moms house the next day so she could keep an eye on me while she worked. I just slept most of the day at her house as I had such a hard time sleeping at mine the night before sitting up on my couch was not the best place to sleep. After that the anesthesia was starting to finally leave my system so I was feeling like myself again. I worked on drinking as much as I could handle so I didn't get dehydrated. Was hard the first few days but after that the swelling must have gone down because it was a lot easier. The physical pain has really lingered  a lot longer than I expected. I am pretty sore on my left side where the port is plus the gas pains from the gas they put in during surgery is no joke.

Today is day 6 and I am planning on trying to work at least a half day tomorrow. I know it sounds whiney since I work at home but it can be so painful to sit up at my desk I don't know if I will make it a whole day or not. But I am going to try, I missed out on work today and a gold canyon meeting so hoping to wake up tomorrow and get back into the swing of things. Thanks for all the well wishes and support from all of you. Love you!

xoxo,
Emily

Today is the day!!

Just wanted to get to document my feelings before surgery. Today is the big day, I slept surprisingly well but did wake up at 4am and wasn't able to go back to sleep. The boys were dropped off to my mom last night, and my hubby is on his way home so I was home alone last night. I was so nervous last night, but this morning the nervousness is starting to wear off and just excitement and the feeling of "lets do this" is kicking in haha :) Took off all my jewelry which feels so weird so naked without my wedding ring and earrings lol I have to be sure not to eat or drink anything but I have to be at the hospital at 7am so shouldn't be too bad. I took the rest of the week off of work, I have my bed set up downstairs for when I come home, don't think I will know what to do with a week off. I am hoping for an easy recovery just lots of rest, luckily I have such an awesome family the boys are set for rides to and from school, they even start their fall break this week so they are off Thursday and Friday, so if everything happens for a reason and this being pushed back, having them off those 2 days really makes a big difference. I am so curious what I will weigh today! My scale has been broken since I started my preop diet, I am so nervous that I have lost enough weight that my surgeon will be happy. But I have been so strict this past 2 weeks I have not eaten a single bite of anything I am not supposed to so I have to have lost right? Got all my meds filled took 3 doses of 2 different antibiotics yesterday, I have my anti nausea patches, liquid pain killer, and my lovely blood thinner injections. Yep injections not super excited about that lol 14 days of it too! Hoping that goes smoothly I am terrified to do it. Well not much else to say but I wanted this to look back on to remember this feeling hours before being banded and being in the next phase of this weightloss journey. As always thanks for reading!

Xoxo,
Emily

Scratch that, let's make it September 30th

Yep that's right they changed the date on me :( Boo!! I guess the normal scheduler was off on the day of my appointment so they booked me a day my surgeon was open but not the operating room, yeah bummer. So its pushed back a full 2 weeks. Now I am going to be completely honest to keep myself accountable, I fully had a pity party Emily weekend lol Now they had told me because I have so much weight to lose that it would be a good idea to start that preop diet now so that would mean a whole month instead of 2 weeks! Yeah I cried for at least 20 minutes, I was heart broken. It was like the amount of self pep talking I had done and was on day 3 of the preop diet, just like shook my whole world. Sounds silly writing about it now but its how I felt in the moment. So I let myself enjoy a few treats this weekend savoring that it may be the last time I eat certain foods, still kind of surreal to be completely honest. But I am back on it today I am convinced I am singly handedly supporting shamrock farms with the amount of rocking refuels I have been drinking lol I did get the go ahead from my nutritionist that I can have mustard so I have been doing a lot of turkey lunchmeat and mustard. Breakfast if I have time has been scrambled egg whites with turkey lunchmeat salt and pepper. Chicken breast, chicken breast, and more chicken brest for dinners lol I plan on meal prepping tonight and doing different seasonings for chicken so I can grab a bag heat it up and not have to fuss. So just an update surgery is Sept 30th 8am check in at 6. Still a Tuesday so my hubby will be with me and I only had to take 4 days off work. I did put on a few pounds from this weekends pity party theme but I am back at it full force today going to stick to the diet and hit the gym, will be excited to see what I can accomplish! Thanks for reading all!
xoxo
Emily

Sept 16th 2014. the day my life will change

Hello again! :) As you can tell from the title of this post, I have set a date, for what you ask well my surgery of course! haha :) I went into see my doctor yesterday and it was considered my official preop appointment aggghhhh so exciting! I first went in and weighed, I lost another 6 pounds bringing my total to 57 pounds lost! I was hoping for more but I am not about to complain! I first met with a nurse who checked vitals and all that fun stuff. Then I met with their financial person, she will be the one submitting my claim to insurance to be sure they cover my surgery. There is so much documentation that they require in order to prove need for the surgery. So at this point they need my sleep study results, surgery clearance from my PCP, as well as 5 years of documented weights. So I have 2009 and 2013 covered, but that leaves 2010, 2011 and 2012 so my PCP better have that documentation or I am going to be so mad! I guaranteed my dr office that I will track down all that paperwork and get it to them so they agreed to go ahead and get me scheduled. They set the date for September 16th at 7am, check in will be at 5am. It falls on a Tuesday so I am hopeful my hubby will be there with me as I really want him there. My nutritionist explained to me about my preop diet which should help me lose the rest of the weight my surgeon wants me too. Then I met with my surgeon he said he is thrilled with my progress and said he knows I will continue to do well so it makes me happy to hear his confidence in me. I am a little nervous but I have full trust in my surgeon as far as that is concerned. I know from past experience my body does not respond well to anesthesia so I am not looking forward to that part. To tell you the truth the actual surgery is the least of my worries its the diet plan that makes me a little nervous. My preop diet begins 2 weeks from surgery so 6 days from now, I am to follow a strict diet of the following:
*no fruits or vegetables
-protein shakes no limit
-plain chicken breast no sauce or skin
-egg whites
-water packed tuna
-turkey
-seasoning - herbs salt and pepper
-broth
-sugar free popsicles
-sugar free jello
-Cystal light or smiliar low cal no sugar drinks
-water
-decaf coffe or tea
-skim or soy milk, unsweetened almond milk
-torani sugar free syrups

Which I am sure for the first few days wont seem so bad but 2 weeks it will probably get old haha

This is specifically designed to shrink my liver and lose abdominal weight as these issues would make surgery difficult and he said safety is number one if the liver is still too enlarged he will not perform surgery. So it is vital that I am strict with adhering to this food plan.

Post surgery is its own animal haha After surgery all I can do is just try and sip on liquids all day long. The pouch they created will be swollen and it will be hard to sip more than one ounce every 5 minutes. So the day 1-4 diet is clear liquids: water, broth, ensure clear, sugar free popsicles and crystal light.

After that 4 days stage one begins and there is to be no food consumed this week. I can begin protein shakes, mixed only with water, skim milk, or any sugar free mix so I will need to get creative there haha I can have broth, sugar free water substitutes. sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello and water. They have it spelled out every 30 try and take in 5 oz of liquid so I do not get dehydrated, so literally my whole week will be focused on try to get liquids down.

Second week begins stage 2 its called the mushy stage yum right??
I can then have low fat yogurt, protein powder with yogurt or pureed fruit, blended vegetables, V-8, 100% fruit juice, unsweetened blended fruit like applesauce, oatmeal, blended low fat soups, mashed potatoes, blended peas or creamed corn, baby food (the meats yuck!!) scrambled eggs mashed well, low fat cottage cheese, blended water packed tuna or chicken. I will aim for 1\2 cup of food or less for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Third week (which I am sure I will jump for joy) Stage 3

Move into solid foods, no more pureed food!! Still watching that I only eat the healthy foods I am supposed to have. Sounds like I will still be fighting with the feeling of still being hungry as I wont have any fluid in my band yet. So I will just need to eat frequent small meals.

Week 4 and beyond

This will be my diet for the rest of my life. I should eat up to 1\2 cups of food 4-5 times per day aiming for 1000-1200 calories a day. Minimum of 60g of protein each day, at least 48 oz of water, and 15-20g of fiber.

It all sounds intimidating but this is going to save my life and give me a second chance at being the person I always wanted to be. Happy, healthy and confident! I want to be sure I get all my exercising in too so I asked and I am not to do any lifting for a month. But can resume my cardio after 2 weeks. But starting the day of surgery I need to walk as much as possible, I read that if you don't the gas pains will be overwhelming.

I know that was a lot of info and I hope it wasn't too boring, but I wanted my family and friends to be aware of what I am going through, because there is so much going on and I want to keep everyone in the loop. And maybe this will help someone who might read this someday and maybe wanting to consider weightloss surgery. I know I need to start working on eating slower, taking smaller bites and chewing very well. They suggest you use kid sized utensils to help remind you.

I thank you again so much for your support it means the world to me, you all give me strength and hope and most importantly love and for this I thank you. For the people who believed in me before I started believing in myself. I love you!

Xoxo
Emily

Also in case anyone isn't sure what this procedure is and how its performed I found this video on YouTube and it gives a good explanation :)

What Is Lap Band Surgery

Getting excited!!!

Hello!! :) I had my monthly check-in with my nutritionist and surgeon yesterday. I lost another 10 pounds which puts me down 51 pounds in total!! YAY I am so proud of myself, I would have never thought I could lose that much on my own! They still want me down 30 more pounds before surgery, but if I can lose another 10 pounds this month, then once I am on the preop diet I should lose very quickly like 20 more pounds, we are hoping, so my nutritionist Mike said he will just have me come in a few days before surgery and weigh me in and if I'm am at least within a few pounds of my goal I will be good to go! So next month will be my official end of the 6 months of supervised diet I am required to do, and he said leave 1 1\2-2 hours for my next appointment because it will be my preop appointment!!! I cant believe it, that means I will be scheduled with a date next month!! So I may be having surgery in September-October! Just right around the corner! Wow that was a lot of exclamation points, yikes, but I am just that excited!! lol (oh and he took my official "before" picture for pre surg, I hope I get to be one of the patients with their before and after pics on the wall!!)

This past month had some rough patches for me to be honest. I had a run in with some oreos this month and it wasn't pretty lol Of all the junk I used to eat Oreos were never a fav, so it was so random that is just what I was craving for over a week. So I bought 2 packs, because there were so many good flavors I couldn't decide on one. Haha in case you're wondering they were Reece's and birthday cake flavors, and yes they tasted as magical as they sounded in my head. But I found that I had a really hard time eating they suggested portion, which was 2 cookies, um really?! 2?! So yeah I did have help from my kiddos and hubby but both packs were gone in 2 days :\ I did make myself log all that I ate to keep accountable and have something to look at next time I think that's a good idea. So I made a deal with myself, treats are going to happen its unrealistic to think I will never again have a sweet. So I tried buying the 100 calorie oreo packs, but yeah they taste nothing like oreos good, but not going to kill the craving. So I saw at some gas stations or drug stores they sell a single sleeve of oreos, that way I get the taste but am not tempted to eat an entire pack again! So just need to keep learning and planning ahead.

I know I was so successful this month because I have upped my gym game tremendously! I even did 2 workouts in one day last week!! May not be something I can do at this point every day but I think once a week that would be a good goal. I am maintaining at least 5 workouts a week, which I am happy about. Its only an hour workout and I end up feeling better after so its something I want to work into 6 days a week. I am happy with my routine now, but I do think I could use to learn more about the machines and maybe which ones I should focus on more. But at this point I think any exercise is doing me good so I just hop around on the ones I like. I do 30 mins moderate intensity on the recumbent bike, then 30 mins of machines split between upper and lower body every time. I was even brave enough to get some workouts in alone this past week, I was so nervous but it wasn't so bad I focused and got my work done and got out of there :)

I attended a support group last night put on by my nutritionist Mike and the offices new nutritionist Katy, too. They talked about being more present while eating. Actually assessing through out the meal how hungry am I really am I just eating to finish it all or because I need to eat. Honestly something I have never asked myself before, if its something I enjoy I eat it all because I want to, so I need to learn to ask myself if I need to. The example is when you were a baby you knew you were hungry so you cried, your mother fed you bottle or breast and you stopped eating when you were full, she couldn't make you continue to eat because you knew you were done. So the statement on our handout was "reclaiming that power" and I want to do that, because honestly I don't remember ever being able to. Also ways to choose food so you feel more satisfied, not full. Like have you ever eaten so much yet still feel hungry? I sure have its because your food like say a salad is filling when you eat a lot but you weren't satisfied so you still "feel" hungry. So in plating your food they suggested, choosing 3 foods, a protein, a veggie and a fruit (or dairy), skip the carbs if you can. Then eat little bites of each kind, also varying textures and colors way to excite the eye as well creating a more enjoyable meal. Great tips I thought, let me know if you want to see a handout from our group, I am happy to scan them in if anyone thinks they would be helpful for them :) After group I was walking out with a girl I have made friends with Amy, and then a girl named Katie who I recognized from previous groups a few months back came up to me and told me I looked so different, she wasn't even sure at first if I was the same girl who first showed up to the meetings. What a compliment, just made my whole month to hear that, that its really that noticeable to everyone not just the people close to me. She and Amy also offered me some pants they had lost too much weight to fit into anymore, score!! :)

Well that's my monthly recap, things are going well I am really accepting of this being a life change. This is just the beginning of my journey and I am so hopeful to continue and see what more great things it has in store for me. Thank you as always for reading and your support!! :)

xoxo
Emily

120 days and counting!!

I had an appointment with my weight-loss office yesterday, and I am 7 pounds down which brings me to a total of 41 pounds down! I am super happy about that. I do feel I could have lost more, but I am proud just the same. My nutritionist went over what I am doing and any issues I may be having. I told him my main concern is losing enough weight to be able to get my band put in this year, in case the cost may go up next year depending on my insurance. So he said I am halfway so if by October I am not down the weight needed then he has a strict diet he can put me on which would help me lose 20-30 pounds in a month, he said I would hate it but its an option. Which I said I am willing to put in the work and make this dream a reality. So that would put my surgery in possible November from what he is thinking. So we are testing out taking my calorie intake to 1300-1400 (from 1500) and see if that helps for now, its up to me he said. Crazy to think once banded they usually try and eat 1000, whoa sounds crazy some days I really struggle to stay under 1500.  He also gave me what I consider a huge compliment when I told him how things were going and what I am implementing in my journey and he said he could have me speak at our support group meeting last night as I am doing everything they want me to do. That made me happy. Then I met with my surgeon who I feel I am finally getting to know. I usually don't see him for very long and its all clinical talk unlike with my nutritionist, but this time felt more familiar and friendly. He said I am doing great and he is very impressed. He had mentioned that I am just over halfway there for weight loss, he doesn't look at my weight just my BMI, so he said I would be done with my 6 months of diet supervision in August he said then 3 weeks after that lets get a band in you. Which I could have hugged him for since my nutritionist had me thinking October or later. So felt good he had the confidence in me that I will do this. Plus its his decision whether to operate or not so sounds promising! Its almost July so to think in maybe no more than 2 months I could be having this procedure is pretty exciting in February 6 months sounded like such a long time but its flying by! I did have a few stumbles this month, we took a couple weekends away and food choices weren't as good as I should have. I feel like I portion controlled okay but still made poor food choices. (I still logged everything to keep myself accountable) So now I know if I am going away I need to plan ahead better about where and what I will eat and one treat is fine but not at every meal. I have found when I go out to eat usually I know before hand so I look online to find nutritional facts and decide before I go what I will eat so that helps me from wandering eyes to unhealthy foods. I have been doing well at home with eating and cooking nutritious meals. Lucky for me my family has been so good at loving all the new stuff I am making so that makes me happy. I can post some of my meals and pictures if that would be something anyone would like to see I have found some real gems on Pinterest aka my new bff LOL! :) I have fully upped my gym game too I am so excited and proud of that! Last week I even went 5 days!! That was a huge accomplishment for me! I have noticed too that my workouts are lasting longer, more weight lifting machines and my cardio too. My first day I went I literally struggled to complete 15 minutes on the recumbent bike, and yesterday I did 30 with moderate intensity and it wasn't that bad I was tired but not dying haha. I have been upping the amount of weights I lift too. My husband has started going with me which is fun. So I know I am super fortunate my best friend goes with me during the week and now I score bonus workouts on weekends with my hubby, the gym has turned into some fun time with my loved ones and time to take care of me. I love it! Did I just say that....yep I love the gym! WOW that's crazy to hear myself say but its true. Well that's pretty much all my updates I have for today, as always thank you for reading and being a part of my journey!

xoxo,
Emily

Making progress!!

My check in with my nutritionist was today and...down another 12 pounds!! Making me down 34 pounds in total. So excited! This makes me halfway to my goal to making me eligible for surgery! They were even going through my pre surgery check list asking if I had gotten my EGD done yet, made it feel so real like this is really happening!! I am so excited, I know the lap band is going to be hard and a huge life adjustment for me. I have been doing a lot of research reading about what others experienced, so I am realistic but excited none the less. Lap band is a tool, not a cure. Its going to give me that extra boost to not be fighting these hunger demons, and since I have so much to lose will really make a big difference for me. I am so very hopeful about my future. I can already feel the difference in having more energy and stamina to do moire things with my family and it feels really good. Oh and did I mention its already having an impact on my blood pressure! When he took my BP today it was kind of low and some days I am feeling a little different so he thinks I need to be taken to a lower dose of BP meds! How exciting! Can't wait for what the future has in store for me! Thanks for reading and supporting me on my journey!

xo,
Emily

10,000 Baby!!

Wow its been a minute since I have blogged, I'm sorry guess it feels like there isn't anything too exciting to write about. Just my day to day counting calories, making good food choices, and learning portion control. This I think is my biggest struggle. I can officially say I check marked one thing off my goals list, I have joined the gym with my best friend Christina. We are meeting on Tuesday and Thursday's and hoping to add more days soon. We work on cardio and some strength training each time and I hope to increase the length of my workouts soon! :) I really am enjoying the gym, gives me more choices and feels more exciting than alone at home. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and getting out of the house for some "me time". Which if you know me is a huge leap to say me time consists of exercising!! lol :) I have been taking trips to the park to walk with my sons, too bad its getting so hot we will have to find some others options for the summer to get some family exercise in. My first plan is to get out and swim, swim swim this summer! Also we renewed our membership to the science center so that is a lot of walking I can do and indoors bonus! :) Plus the fun time with my kiddos of course. We went to the zoo yesterday and I earned my first 10,000 steps badge on my fitbit!! I am so super proud and excited about that accomplishment!! :) I am thinking of getting a membership to the zoo as well! I am finding it easier to walk these long distances than before which is a good feeling, my back doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. I do find that I get tired but I just take a little breather and then get back up and keep going! Its more a battle in my head sometimes as my old way of thinking and habits creep in making me want to sit down and take extra breaks, but I am telling that urge to shut it! LOL :) I feel like I am still doing well with my food choices, at home I only have the healthy options so I know I am okay there, going out into the world is more of a challenge. I just try to plan ahead if I know we are going out to eat, look online at nutritional facts and plan on what to order to know I will not go over on calories. There is a lot of power in knowledge, knowing how many calories I can eat empowers me to make better choices since I want to keep within my calorie goal. At this point I am still at 1500 calories a day although I am pretty consistent on not using all of them. I am wondering if next nutrition appointment he might lower it, oh and I will have a new official weigh in next week so I will be sure to post it on here. I am super excited, since I have added so much more exercise within the last month I really hope it shows on the scale so I know I am closer to my goal for surgery. Oh and besides my numbers on the scale I want to be sure to remind myself of my NSV (non scale victories) as I have learned following along with fb group of other lap banders. My NSV this week is at the zoo I would normally skip any rides as my fear is always being too big to fit or safely ride so I usually just opt to sit out, usually bummed but at least felt safe in not trying. But I really pushed myself yesterday and I wanted to go on the skyride(basically a ski lift that takes you around the zoo) with my hubby and kids I was so afraid to be told no sorry you are too big to ride but I tried anyway. When I sat down the lady has to lower the lap bar and make sure it locks into place. My heart stopped as she stopped the ride as it didn't fasten right away, but I sat up straight and with a little extra push it locked! May not sound big for someone who has never struggled with being as big as I am, but to me this felt huge! I know at the beginning of this journey I would not have fit and would have missed out and been really sad but not this time! I was very happy with that NSV. Thanks for reading! My appointment is in less than a week so check back for my weight loss update! :)

xo,
Emily

Progress updates:
82 days since I started
82 days of food logs

Best fitbit day:

Thank you for those walking in this journey with me, and believing in me when I didn't even believe in myself.

52 days and counting...

Well today is officially the 52nd day of my journey. I had my much anticipated doctor visit today, they sure scheduled me to get a lot done in one day I love that they are so efficient that way! I had my ultrasound done, my psych eval, my nutritional assessment, and my very first B12 shot! So it was a very exciting day that I have been counting down to. I went in and first had my psych eval done, which I didn't know which appointment was first so when I was brought to his office he said "don't worry this will be painless" then I realized who he was LOL but since I wasn't expecting him first I didn't even have a chance to be nervous about it so I thought that was funny. He was super nice and said he didn't see any need for change in meds, as I have been taking Wellbutrin prescribed by my PCP and he didn't feel I needed any additional counseling so he said he will write my recommendation letter for my insurance so that is another check off the list towards my surgery! :) Then I had my ultrasound she said there are mainly looking for stones and general health of the gallbladder, pancreas and liver. Another check off the list! Then I met with Mike, who is my favorite person so far in this process so far he is just so awesome. I joked about is the scale going to match the one at the Estrella office (my appts today were in Tempe) and he said I'd weigh more which at first I didn't know if he was joking or not haha So by my calculations I had lost another 7 pounds! Which I was so excited about but then we sat down in his office and he said to match up with the other office take off an additional 5 pounds, so I actually lost a total of 12 pounds!! That puts me down 22 pounds so far, so I am a quarter of the way to my goal so I can be eligible for surgery! :) I am so happy I swear that just put me in the best mood all day. Then I got my B12 shot and bought some PB2 and I was all done. I had taken the day off in case my appointments ran late and since I still needed to pick up the kiddos. But I was all done in just over an hour! So I took advantage of some time to myself which never ever happens and went to Target. I got the boys Easter baskets and a bunch of goodies. I tried to not really do much candy since I want to help them be healthier too. So I got some little goldfish cartons, and some fruit snacks, some active toys like balls and a little mini plastic bat and ball and a cool Frisbee. Stuff we can play with at the park or outside. And my amazing Mom said she would go in with me to purchase a FitBit for me. Because its something I have really wanted to help me get a better idea of the activity I am getting each day and helping me know when I need to do a little extra to be more active that day. It tracks sleep, activity, calories burned, you can also enter your food and water intake. Its pretty awesome and I love technology so this is like getting the toy you really wanted on Christmas LOL She ended up getting it for me, thank you Mom!!, and I picked it up at Target today and am proudly wearing it right now! LOL Then I picked up the boys from school and we went to the dollar store, Payless (since Joshua broke his shoe this morning :\) and then to our new favorite spot the Pita Kitchen. Now we are home and getting ready to do the crafts with the supplies we picked up at the dollar store and watch a movie. But I wanted to hop it here and share my happiness from today. I plan to finally meet my goal and sign up for my gym membership as soon as my tax return comes in I can't wait, I even ordered myself a new workout outfit and cute headband\sweatband to get me extra excited! Haha Well as always thanks for reading!!

Xoxo
Emily

I am working on learning this one!!

Amen!

First support group meeting and a rough week...

Well I attended my first support group meeting last Tuesday and it was wonderful. My Mom came with for support and I felt really comfortable there. I could see myself being friends with the people there. It was nice for a change to be in a social setting around strangers and not feeling afraid of what they were thinking of me, judging me because of my size. My nutritionist was leading the group which was good because I really like him. You can tell he really cares about his job which is so nice. The topic was plateaus and why they happen and how to handle them. I haven't been on my journey long enough to have this be a huge issue yet, but what I did learn was that you have to expect them to happen so if you are prepared it won't hit you as hard. What I wanted to share from this group was he talked about the 4 main steps you need to be successful in weight loss and I thought I would take this opportunity for myself to write down how I am applying them to my journey.

Mental Training: Do you have a set of updated goals in writing and have you been keeping these in front of you, reading them every day?

I am going to concentrate on the power of positive thinking. Not telling myself negative things like you can't do this, its too hard. Instead I am saying you will do this, you are doing this and it will be in my subconscious and help me be more successful.

Short term goals

I would like to be losing 10 pounds a month minimum

Joining a gym and attending regularly.

Not spending as much time watching tv

Going for a walk every week

Long term

signing up to walk in a marathon

losing 200 pounds

Cardio training: Do you have a customized cardio schedule and have you been following it consistently?

I am committing to cardio at least 4 days a week. Currently I am using my YouTube workouts that I am enjoying. Also start going out to walk whenever I can. 

Resistance training: Have you been following your weight training program?

This was something I honestly had not even given thought to yet. So I ordered myself a resistance band off of Amazon and found another video that has workouts I am able to do. It was fun to switch it up so at this time I will alternate days of my cardio videos and my resistance video workouts. But my goal is to do both 5 days a week which would take me from a 30 minute workout to 1 hour.

Nutrition: Do you have a meal plan that you follow closely, counting your calories and have you followed it every day to the best of your abilities? You have to rate your compliance twice: Once for your food quality and once for your food quantity. Are you underestimating your food intake and overestimating your activity levels?

I honestly don't think I could be successful with this without counting my calories. I feel like I have eaten bad for so long that I wouldn't know if I am eating okay or not, its been a learning experience to really look at what the nutritional values are in the foods we eat. And I feel like I am still eating things I enjoy so I am happy. MyFitnessPal is just my favorite thing right now lol I do think I want to start actually making a calendar of what I will eat each day so I can plan better.

Well that's a little about what I learned and how I am applying it. Last week sure was a rough one, our beloved Binx passed away and that just broke my heart, I am still struggling to not cry about it everyday when I think he is going to walk into my office and then I realize he never will again. But I like to think his spirit will always be with me so that brings me comfort. The day it happened it really triggered me to want to eat, like I just kept thinking what can I eat next just trying to make myself feel better. But I didn't binge out on anything bad, might have had a couple extra snacks but they were all healthy and I only went over like 200 calories that day so I think it could have been worse. But other than that I have been pretty good. I am finding that going out to eat is harder than I thought. My nephew's birthday was at Peter Piper Pizza so I knew to prepare myself so I looked up the calories for their pizza and salads and determined I could have one slice of pepperoni pizza and a salad. It took everything in me not to just grab another slice of pizza it looked so good. I had a bite of cake but didn't have a piece of my own. So I think I was successful but I must admit it was harder than I thought it would be. My triumph of the week I think was going to walk at the park yesterday with Christina, we estimate that the park one trip around is 1\4 mile, and I walked it 4 times! (with breaks between laps) but I did it! To say I walked a mile just sounds crazy but I was so happy about it, might not sound big to some but for me trust me this was huge.

I meet with my nutritionist again on the 18th so I will do a weight loss update then since I don't feel like I can trust my scale at home anymore. Oh and I scheduled to receive a B-12 shot when I go in, this will be my first time so I will update with what my experience was like. Thanks for reading.

xoxo Emily

My first office check in

Well the day has finally arrived, my first office check in. I have been a nervous wreck all day! I weighed myself this morning to get myself prepared, and according to my scale I have lost 3 pounds so far. And I really encouraged myself this time that I need to be proud of that! 3 less pounds I have to haul around, right? Well I went in and waited awhile, I had my oldest son Michael with me which was a great distraction from the anticipation. They finally called me back and had me step on the scale, I honestly thought twice about taking my flip flops off lol it all counts right?! Well I feel silly and left them on...this time LOL And I look down and I'll be damned if their scale shows I have actually lost a total of........10 pounds!!!! AAAGGGHHHH I am so excited! I was so happy I was talking over my nutritionist (I know I need to work on that, I'm trying!) so excited to report back all of the changes I have made, I have been logging in everyday since our last visit. And he gets down to business he logged in there with my name and password and looked at everything and was so impressed I was logging everything, even the garlic and onions I add to dishes. He even asked me to please share my workout videos with our private facebook group so they might help others! I am beyond thrilled, and I am actually looking forward to my first support group meeting tonight! Thanks Mom for coming with! <3
I just wish Michael hadn't said can we go to McDonald's now mom LOL I felt like he had just said a curse word saying McDonald's in the weight loss office!! HAHA He just wants the toy they have but still. I took him of course since he was so good, and I was so happy to order my salad, no extra dressing and an unsweet tea! Tasted like success HAHA I committed to my workouts 5 days a week now with the physician too, so I am going to really hold myself to that! And then hopefully soon I can have the strength and stamina to finally join a gym again, and workout with my friends :) That is my goal right now that would make me so happy to do that. Well I guess that's it for me today, if I hear anything worth sharing at my meeting tonight I will be sure to make a post. Thanks for reading!

xoxo Emily

My current core workout

My current cardio workout

So confused...

Well I have been on my journey for 20 days and I wish I could write and say that I've lost this impressive amount of weight, but I haven't. :( I just don't get it, I am doing what my nutritionist said, I cut my caloric daily intake by nearly half, I have started doing some cardio why am I not losing any weight?? I mean this isn't going to deter me or anything but it sure is depressing. I mean logically in my mind it made sense cut down your calories, watch you sugars I am following on myfitnesspal and using their guidelines to be sure I am eating right. I have even given up soda and any alcohol, which I thought would really boost my results. So I am just at a point where I know I am going to continue and I will get there, but it would be nice to have that encouragement of a little weight loss to make me proud that I am doing this. I have an appointment with my nutritionist next week, I guess my greatest fear is that he will think I am being dishonest about my efforts, or that there is a medical reason I am not losing weight. Which terrifies me to add another hurdle to this journey, but I am going to hope for the best and pray that its just that my scale is broken! LOL Planning another grocery trip this week and again very excited to try some more new recipes. Me and my kids are enjoying this process together, but I keep reminding myself to tell them they are not on a diet they are just being encouraged to make healthier choices. They are starting a new school next year, and they have an emphases on health and nutrition so I am so excited to have that in our lives. Feels like everything happens for a reason and this school is just another part of this journey. I will be sure to write a post once I have seen my nutritionist next week, I also have an appointment at their Tempe office to have an ultrasound done, and my psych eval, boy does that sound fun :P

Xoxo,
Emily

New beginnings...well kinda

Well I have officially been on this new journey for 10 days. Seems like longer but anyways. I wanted to write about my first official all healthy grocery trip. Now I honestly hate grocery shopping, so the fact that I was actually excited to go this time just was well...weird. But good weird. I made my list of all the ideas for meals and snacks and it just felt like the official beginning to the new me. I felt good in knowing if I read the nutrition facts I actually knew what I was looking for and not just guessing, haha. I was able to look at things and know I could swap for a healthier option. This was the first time I didn't begrudgingly pick up a healthier option and think well this is going to taste like crap. No, I was excited to make the right choices and know that then they will benefit my kids as well as me. I even bought whole wheat flour, I honestly would have never even known that existed! It feels so weird to think knowing that only a couple weeks ago I just didn't care. Well I did, but I was never honest with myself about putting in the effort I was capable of. I never really wanted to change I guess, I love food. I have loved food my entire life, I cannot remember a single time in my life that I was not overweight. And I know these habits started when I was young because I can remember being told no you don't need another serving, you've had enough, which I had, but I persisted I was still hungry anyways because I liked to eat. Which neither of my parents ate like that, so I guess it was just something in me I cannot understand. But recently I have looked at my youngest son and seen his eating habits and they are just like me. I felt horrible once I really opened my eyes, he is mimicking me and my awful relationship with food. So I want to be the role model he deserves not just the manners and things I teach but how to take care of your body and really love yourself. Having children really makes you look at yourself in a way you never did before, before kids what I did only affected me, now everything I do affects them so I need to do my best to set a good example.

Meals for this week:
turkey burgers
whole wheat pizza night
turkey meatloaf
chicken and veggies
eggplant parm
salmon and aspargus foil packets

Breakfasts:
Yogurt
fruit
protein shakes (mostly rockin refuel by shamrock farms I love this stuff!)
eggs

Lunches:
tuna
whole wheat muffin caprese
left over dinner

Snacks:
cheesestick
fruit
protein bar
veggies
found a greek yogurt veggie dip that I love too!

And the only sweets we have been eating are sugar free jello or pudding, and fruit.

Still maintaining my 2lb loss so we will see in a week if there are any changes. I plan to start some YouTube video workouts this week, so I am hoping that will work out because adding exercise has been so hard for me due to my physical limitations. But not for long!

xoxo
Emily

 

Well here it begins...

First let me say I am starting this blog mostly for me, I want somewhere to be able to document this journey to a new healthier me! I want to be able to talk about all the things going on with me good and bad, just a place to share my thoughts and emotions. And hopefully someday have this to look back on and appreciate the struggle and the steps it took to get where I someday hope to be. I am not a professional writer so if you follow along, please bear that in mind. I am not sure that I will ever share this with more than my family and friends, Hi Christina and Mom :), but maybe someday there will be someone in the exact same place as me today and that I can say if I can do it so can you! So far in this journey I have gone to see the professionals at the Weight Loss Institute of AZ or WLIAZ as you may have seen them before. I went in there just with a hope and a prayer that a lap band procedure may be in my future. And I can say this is going to happen! I was a little taken aback by hearing that in order for me to receive surgery I need to lose 80 pounds! I was shocked! But after the surgeon explaining to me why I completely understand, heartbroken but understand. My first thought was if I could lose 80 pounds on my own I would have done it by now! But this truly in my heart feels different, I have never had a team of nutritionists, and physicians on my side like this before. And I know if I give it my all I can and will do this. So far I am using the MyFitnessPal app to track my progress, so far so good really. I love that I have to enter in everything I am eating and if I am embarrassed to enter it then I shouldn't be eating it!! Well this is my intro, I will write whenever I feel the need and I hope you follow along on this journey to the New Healthier Me! :)